So I Don’t Fit Your Feminine Ideal? Read This
A letter to my haters who question my looks and my motivation.
You can’t please everyone. That’s a fact I can’t change. Yet a lot of people are trying to make me feel bad about my choices, and I won’t keep quiet anymore.
I can’t ignore it when someone calls me too bulky or manly, or asks if I still find myself pretty. For two years, I’ve been doing CrossFit and, since August 2016, I’ve been working out five to six times a week. My body has changed. I’ve never been stronger or felt better in my life. But I’ve also been getting negative comments from people because of my physique, so now I feel it’s time to address you, my “haters.”
So, dear haters:
Do you really think I hate working out – or the way I look? No. It makes me incredibly happy to go to the gym every day, kick ass at the box, and go home with a smile on my face.
Everyone has their own idea of beauty
Just because you think I look bulky, or someone else looks overweight to your standards, that doesn’t make it true. It took me over seven years to finally accept my body. I am not – nor will I ever be – the woman with slim legs. I never felt comfortable in my body until I started CrossFit. When I now look into the mirror, I feel sexy and proud of myself.
This might come as a surprise, but I also don’t have a battle with the scales – I can eat pretty much what I want throughout the day, and that’s an awesome feeling. Eating good food and looking great is what many of us want, right?
Define what makes YOU happy
“How can you spend so much time in the gym?” “Why don’t you just relax and have a drink?”
Some people post selfies every day, some party every weekend, others don’t even know what makes them happy.
Just because you consider their hobby bad or ridiculous, doesn’t mean that the person you’re talking about feels the same way. So no, my life is not miserable. In fact, I’ve never been happier.
The social media problem
“You post too much on social media!” “You pretend to be the best female CrossFitter in the world!”
Please note that I post on social media whenever I want, and if you don’t like it, you are free to unfollow. (I always chuckle when I discover the people who claim I post too much are the same ones who always view my Instagram stories.)
I love to share my CrossFit experience and pride when I achieve a personal record or master a new gymnastic move. I hope to motivate others with my pictures and videos.
You’ve made it to the end of my letter. Maybe I have changed your mind, maybe not. Perhaps, however, you will think twice before making nasty comments about someone else and their life choices the next time.
To other people who are also dealing with haters, I found a perfect quote from Coco Chanel:
But what I don't understand is that if someone don't like your body or whatever of you, instead of don't care about it they do as much as possible to let it you know.
I mean, if I don't like something, I just don't care about it at all, specially if it is something that do not affect in diary life!! Let's make a more positive world just taking care about what makes us happy!
And this is exactly what you do! So I really want to congrats for it.
Have you ever thing about do speeches to teenage girls&boys about this topic?
thank you for your kind words ! :)
No I haven´t thought about it yet.. if you know someone who is interested let me know !
Makes me feeld good about what I wrote...
Greetings from Chile!
I hope your foot is getting better every day?!
I can relate to your story as I'm also an ambitious person on the football field and at work. But I'm convinced that being ambitious and always aiming at moving forward is an awesome trait and makes you an MVP in every team!
Keep up your fire and get well soon,
Nina
Hope you have an awesome week.
Keep us posted and be an athlete in everything you do,
Nina
First off let me state you are a beautiful woman! What I don't understand as of late is people addressing these haters/trolls what have you. Is it therapeutic for you to do so? You won't change who they are. Your words will actually incite more negative feedback because you are responding to them. I'm just curious. I guess what I would recommend is take the high road and keep inspiring as you have done.
-Bill
EXTERNAL REFERRALS
Say goodbye to the beauty ideal - Yoni